"There's far more to life than making it move faster." -Gandhi Thinking These Thoughts
Thinking These Thoughts
Can We Pretend…

It’s crazy how things can change in the blink of an eye. It’s like, one day you wake up and realize that everything you’ve been doing is no longer working for you. You look yourself in the mirror and understand that in order to get where you need to go, you have to switch it up. Yet, change has never sat well with me. Especially if that change is not on my own terms. However, like all things in this world, we must learn to live life on life’s terms. 

Recently, I’ve learned that in every experience there is an underlying opportunity that we do not realize until after the experience has passed. By this I mean that, when we are in the midst of a new experience there is so much happening that we may not see things for what they actually are. Essentially, we are too close to see the entire picture. We often accept the pixilated point of view because we’ve convinced ourselves that we are happy. Yet, the words happy and comfortable are too often confused and wrongfully used interchangeably. It is not until someone or something pulls us back, revealing a much clearer perspective, that we understand that something needs to be added to the equation. Yet, in most cases, in order for things to be added, other things must be removed. Lately, I’ve learned that we cannot always choose what will be removed. 

This chapter is about living, and this particular section is about learning. Learning to accept the changes that are thrown my way. Learning that there is always another perspective; sometimes far clearer than the one I am exposing myself to. Learning that in every loss there is a greater gain if I am patient. Learning that serenity and peace of mind can only come from within. Learning that some people are not meant to stay forever. Learning that as long as I am living, I will never stop learning. 

It’s crazy how everything can change in the blink of an eye. Yet, some changes are long overdue.

________________________________SamDel

image

Artwork by: Paulo Zerbato

In 5 Days’ Time…

The adventure of a lifetime. That’s what it shall be called. I’ve always daydreamed of a place that was “So, Samille.” A place where, everyone and everything screamed “Samille’s personality and beliefs.” I can remember having dreams about this location but never being able to figure out where it was. Closing my eyes, now, I can picture the sunsets as if I’ve seen them one thousand times before. It wasn’t until I was about 17 that I was able to identify this place. The place I had left my heart in without ever stepping foot on its soil. A place that held my attention for so many years without truly revealing its identity. The city I had longed for for so many years.

When my dad was admitted to the hospital this past December, I can remember him looking at me with his oxygen mask on and saying “Samille, you need a vacation.” He then proceeded to tell me that I worked too hard and never found time to enjoy my life. I’d heard that speech one hundred times from two hundred different people. Yet, as I watched my father struggle for breath, this time was different. Realistically, he didn’t need to support his comment because, when he said: “you need a vacation,” my heart was already in agreement. 

Next week, on July 9th, I will be flying across the country to spend a  week in a the city my heart has always known yet never met. This is going to be  the adventure of a life time. I’ve never done anything like this before! I cannot believe that I have planned, as well as financed, this entire trip all on my own. From the research to the reservations, every step and decision has been made by me. The best part being, I’ll be going with one of my besties. The only solidified plans we have are which hotel we are staying in as well as when our flight home will be. Everything else will be left to spontaneity. For once, in my adult life, I am going to stop planning and start participating.

As I’ve stated in many of my other posts, my first year out of college was about stepping outside of my comfort zone. As I begin the 2nd year, I know that this trip is exactly what I need. I feel as though all the previous months have prepared me for this moment. The anxiety that ruled the 21st-23rd years of my life is starting to disappear, as I remember just how care free and life loving I used to be, and still am. It’s funny the things you learn while repairing a heart that was shattered so badly that you, yourself, fell apart. From letting go of old friends to making new ones, starting a new relationship, and accomplishing more goals, I would say that my life is extremely wonderful right about now.

This chapter is about living.

___________________________SamDel  

image

Irrelevance: to be, or to become, irrelevant
My biggest fear….
At the age of 21 I learned what it means to become irrelevant to someone else. My whole life all I’ve wanted to do was make an impact on the people around me and, as I get older, on the world. I never want someone to be able to say “you are irrelevant, or Samille who?” However, the past 3 years have taught me how easy it is to become irrelevant. For the longest time I never understood how someone could just drop me off of the face of their earth as if I never mattered or as if what we had didn’t matter anymore or ever for that matter. That’s a very scary feeling. Especially because I’ve always been the type of person to invest my all in any and everything I do.
I’m a very sensitive person. I listen to other people and when they need me I’m there. That’s not to toot my own horn, but mainly to say that I understand that People need People. So I have a hard time accepting the fact that even though I give me all to others, they may not reciprocate that same thing and I have a very hard time accepting that everyone I’ve met in my life is unforgettable simply because I invest my all and I wear my heart on my sleeve. Yet, people can just drop me off the face of their earth without looking back, without thinking twice. So, irrelevancy, that’s definitely my biggest fear as a 23 year old. The act of becoming irrelevant. Yeah, that’s a big one.
—SamDel
Good morning beautiful

Good morning beautiful

2 cups of Raw Spinach, 2 cups of Strawberries, 1 Banana, 1 cup of non-fat Vanilla Greek Yogurt #Green #Smoothie #GoodEats

2 cups of Raw Spinach, 2 cups of Strawberries, 1 Banana, 1 cup of non-fat Vanilla Greek Yogurt #Green #Smoothie #GoodEats

I believe it.

I believe it.

Truth. A page in the new chapter. #RePost

Truth. A page in the new chapter. #RePost

Good morning from my front porch. #NoFilter #SunRise #Nature #Mornig

Good morning from my front porch. #NoFilter #SunRise #Nature #Mornig

"When one takes responsibility, one sets goals and then acts to achieve them, continuously modifying one’s behavior to better achieve the goals… It is to make the achievement of the outcome the criterion by which one measures one’s own  efforts. #WhateverItTakes #Northeastern #GradSchool

"When one takes responsibility, one sets goals and then acts to achieve them, continuously modifying one’s behavior to better achieve the goals… It is to make the achievement of the outcome the criterion by which one measures one’s own efforts. #WhateverItTakes #Northeastern #GradSchool